The Eagle

Found this jewel floating around the internet. I do not know who the original author is.

In one of the western states, a man was caught sitting at a make-shift campfire by a forest ranger, and to the ranger's horror, the man was eating a bald eagle. The man of course was put in jail for the crime.

At his trial, the judge asked him, "Do you know that killing and eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?"

The man answered, "Yes I do your honor, but I got lost in the woods and hadn't had anything to eat for two weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a bald eagle swooping down at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the eagle, I could maybe steal the fish. I caught up with the eagle, which lighted upon a tree stump to eat the fish. I threw a rock toward the eagle, hoping he would drop the fish and fly away. Unfortunately, in my weakened condition, my aim was off, and the rock hit the eagle squarely on his head, and killed him."

The judge was moved by the man's story and gave a fast judgment. He said, "Due to the extreme circumstances you were under, and because you didn't intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges."

The judge, being somewhat of an outdoorsman himself, then leaned over the bench and whispered to the man. :If you don't mind my asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?"

Feeling he had made a friend, the man said, "Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe it, it is somewhere between a California condor and a spotted owl."

This is funny to me because I enforce environmental laws and I can't count the times someone confessed a crime to me because they were somewhat proud of it. Your Pal the Envirocapitalist

The Canoe

I make friends at work, But I don't usually go afield with them. I don't know why, I just have limited time and a group of good friends whom I would prefer to spend time in the bush with anyway. With that said one day I made and exception and took up a very excited co-worker on an offer to try out the new canoe his father had gotten him. We took it to to Melton Hill Lake.  I thought this was smart since I didn't know what kind of canoe it was and the calm placid waters of the lake would be ideal for any canoe even with my co-worker (who was a novice) at the helm.  We met at about nine in the morning in the parking lot and I notice the canoe looked like the nice shiny wooden ones you see hanging from a ceiling or on its end with books in it.  Sure enough we drug it out of the back of his truck and it was a decorative canoe and not a canoeing canoe. I didn't know what to say........... sometimes this guy is a know it all and I didn't want to start a fuss, so against my better judgement I let him launch it with catastrophic results. As I stood there in awe while my wet co-worker slung a six hundred dollar decorative canoe around the parking lot, stopping, cussing and yelling I couldn't help but thinking maybe I should have warned him. After a few uncomfortable moments we parted company, I am sure he swore off canoes and I know I swore off adventures with hot headed tenderfoots. your pal the Envirocapitalist.